10 Things You Learn When On A Cruise Ship

I'm going to conclude my series of blogs about my honeymoon cruise with some things I learned about cruising:

1 - If you go to the bar, it confuses the bar staff.

They expect to wait on you, which isn't what I'm used to - several times I went to the bar for a drink, only for the bar staff to ignore me, and just as I'm thinking about complaining a waiter comes over to take my order and more or less tells me to go get a seat and he'll find me.

2 - My drinks orders are possibly not posh enough.

I've ordered Archers and Lemonade, and Spiced Rum with Diet Coke, and on these occasions the waiters have had me repeat myself several times, all I can assume is that people are normally ordering champagne or at the very least gin and tonic, and my drinks aren't what is generally expected of a cruisee.

3 - It's amazing how many people cruise regularly.

We were looked upon with some interest for being first time cruisers, and one morning we met someone who had cruised 22 times.

4 - Ships layouts are weird.

Sometimes the ship layout is confusing, particularly when decks are blocked off midway. Are you on Deck 6 at one end, and wanting to get to the other end? Well, you'd better go up to Deck 7, walk to the other end, and then take the stairs back down to 6.

And don't even think about trying to go down to Deck 5 and walking along, you crazy fool.

5 - The staff are extremely good

Everyone says hello or good morning or some such to you, from the cleaners on up. they appear genuinely pleased to see you, which is obviously in their training, but it does make you feel good and welcome to be there.

6 - Money? What Money?

One odd thing is that when you buy anything, you don't use money, instead you have a card which is charged at the end of the journey.  I don't have any problem with this, but they also want a signature for every purchase also, which seems over the top - I just want to say "it's my card, just charge the thing and have done with it!" but I guess it's to deal with people trying to say that they didn't actually buy things on the ship.

7 - The lifts are BUSY.

Certainly on the ship we went on, because the decks used by cruisees go from 4 to 18, it's too far for people to comfortably take the stairs (for example - might you be thinking about going from the bar to the buffet? That's ten floors!) and so the lifts get a good hammering.

8 - You are on a ship!

The first few days I somehow convinced myself that we were in some sort of fancy hotel that magically relocated itself from day to day.

Then, about 3 days in, we encountered our first rough seas, and they weren't pleasant.  Not a big deal - seasickness tablets took the edge off - but be aware of it.

9 - Expect to spend.

Even though you've forked out big style for the cruise, expect them to try to get you to spend more, on such things as acupuncture, health and wellbeing treatments, craft sessions, photos (for example, for a copy of a photo we had taken with the captain we spent the best part of 20 quid), duty free... the list goes on. so do expect to spend on board, or plan accordingly.  That said, for the week I think we spent about £300 on the ship, which isn't a huge amount for a weeks holiday.

10 - Have respect for the crew!

The crew, especially the captain, have to juggle the demands of mastering a huge ship along with dealing with all of the annoying passengers. I must imagine that sometimes the crew must think that it would be a lot easier to get around without all of us complaining bunch on board!

So, all in all cruising is great. it isn't the cheapest holiday in the world,. but it's really great.

Have I missed something out from the 10 that you think should be mentioned? Say in the comments!

If you want to see what I brought back from my honeymoon, check out my MANEATING video where I test Norwegian chocolate bars!

Also, I've just posted a blog over on the Life Whacko about mortality and stuff.  If you're in the mood for a bit of deep thinking (deep for me anyway) go check it out.