How to make a living by being a geek - honest!

It's been just over two years since I started this blog up and I was very pleased today when I logged into Blogger and apparently I've hit 200,000 views, which is pretty awesome - whether it's accurate or not I'm not entirely sure, as Google Analytics tells me that the figure is actually just under 11,000, but at any rate it's all good.  Thanks for reading!

I decided to draw myself a mind map on how to make a living by being a geek.  I know that there is almost certainly no way that I'll achieve this, but having a plan isn't going to hurt, and it was fun to do.

Hang on - I need to move into "internet marketer speak" to do this blog post properly...

The Fortune Making Mind Map that THEY don't want you to know about!

Hi, I'm Mike Raven, and I used to be just like you.

Then I ate a lot of food, and now I'm twice the person you are.

But you can become like me too!

They don't want you to know about this secret.  Tired of the 9-to-5?  Bored of being a rat in the the rat race?

Want to be happy by earning $000s while sitting at home?

Follow these five steps for eternal bliss...

5 - Make the commitment.

Quit your job.  Are you having fun?  Stop that.  Sit at home and sweat, baby.  Put the time in and the rewards will come.  Learn SEO.  And memes.

4 - Get out there.

Network, it's not who you know, it's who the people you know know.  And who they know too.

3 - READ THE MIND MAP

Read the mind map below.

But not yet - keep reading the five steps first.

2 - FOLLOW THE MIND MAP

Do what the mind map says.

Do that now.

1 - LIVE IN ETERNAL BLISS

Go to Eternal Bliss now!

(Disclaimer: All the above is bad advice, or at best variable advice.  Putting the time in to something that you care about is probably a good thing.  The rest is pretty poor)

Okay, now that's over, here's the mind map.  Enjoy!

If you want to be a writer can I recommend this article by James Altucher that I read on Lifehacker this morning - well worth a read.

Otherwise, if you enjoyed this parody of internet marketing, check out my SEO blog post from a while back, Or even a slightly more serious one about gamification.

On the other hand, my most popular blog post is about being unable to locate nappies (aka diapers).  So try that instead.

Your Internet Connection is Unstable

Now, I'm a geek, and I'm the sort of person that loves to spend an afternoon with a relatives PC cleaning it up, defragging it, running anti-virus and installing spyware catchers, installing Windows patches, all that gubbins.  I know - I'm sad that way (even I think twice though when, after reinstalling Windows 7, having to install 120+ patches that Microsoft tells me are critical updates)

So this weekend when my Samsung Galaxy S3 told me that it had an update to install, I didn't hesitate.  I believe that it has now updated its software to Android 4.3 (Jelly Bean), and so far I've only really noticed one change.

It now criticises the quality of my internet connection.

Twice now it has flashed up a notification, stating "Your internet connection is unstable".  I'm not entirely sure what this does, apparently if its unstable you can set your phone to switch to mobile internet, but as I've nearly used my monthly internet allowance I'd rather it just not connect to the internet.  I did note that the second time it warned me about my unstable internet I had just walked out of the house - if it was really a smartphone it would have checked its integrated GPS and worked out that my wi-fi wasn't unstable, rather it was that the phone was moving away from the router (yes, it was towards a takeaway if you must know)

I mean, I know I've had problems with my internet in the past, but is this a new feature?  Smartphones with opinions?

What if they continue in this manner?  Can you imagine the notifications?

I'm sleepy. Turn me off so I can install some updates.

I'm hungry and need recharging.  Plug me in.

Or even...

I'm aroused. Take a firm hold of that micro-USB cable and PLUG. ME. IN.

I'm scared.

Merry Christmas by the way!

It Lives! (Nearly)

I've almost got my dad's "new" second-hand PC up and running!  I've just got to get Windows installed on it and it should be ready to run.  He's been using a PC that I bought about ten years ago and one that we really can't upgrade any more (AGP graphics card - anyone still got one of them?)

But I've noticed something a little worrying - I'm starting to lose the capability to operate technology.

Now, I am a geek.  This is undeniable.  And I'm somewhat proud of being one (even though, truth be told, I'm not actually that good with computers - I'm not bad, but I could be better)

At the age of four (I think) I had a Sinclair ZX-81 home computer.  After that, a variety of ZX Spectrums. Other computers I have owned include a variety of PCs, from an ancient XT to my current Intel Core 2 Duo (I know, I want an upgrade) beast, Sega Master System, Sega Game Gear, Sega Megadrive, Nintendo Gameboy, I think there was an Videopac console at some point, Playstation 2, Wii, a variety of smartphones and tablets, various other electronic gadgets, I hold two degrees (okay, one is a Foundation Degree) in IT, and various other IT qualifications.

But despite all this, my computer skills seem to be fading.

I haven't changed a toner cartridge for a long time, and I suspect that I wouldn't be able to do it now.  When I say this, yes I could, but I'd have to refer to Google.

Or the manual. (dear god!)

I had major trouble today working a software program that I downloaded, one that I used to use (albeit a few years ago).  It took me quite a while to work out how to operate it, which I'm sure in my younger days I would have figured out in an instant.

Ah well - I'm sure there's lots of useful other information now in my head that's replaced the IT stuff.

Like the best place to get sausages from (Jacksons Butchers in Louth)!

New video - Omega 4!

I have a new video live!  Meet Omega 4 - he's a geek, he's a hero, he's a heroic geek.

There is a rather bad continuity error in the video (actually 2... at least!) - why not let me know (comments box below, or get in touch at me at my Twitter account) if you spot it or not?

Let me know if you can't view this video - I've had a report from someone that it wouldn't open on a tablet so if you have this (or any other problem) with any of my videos I'd really appreciate knowing about it.

YouTube have announced that any channels with 100 subscribers or more will be able to live stream.  I'm currently 76 subscribers away from this, so if you do have a Google or YouTube account it'd be great if you could check out my channel and subscribe if you like my stuff!

In other news, milk bread is one of my favourite foods of all time, which my mum makes occasionally and she's seen fit to put her recipe up on her blog.  I'm going to have a go at making some!

Finally - it is National Watermelon Day today!  Apparently there are over 300 different kinds of watermelon.  For a (healthier than chocolate) treat I'd recommend a glass of chopped watermelon pieces, mixed up with a crushed meringue nest, and a spot of single cream (you can always use low-fat cream like Elmlea) - lovely!

Happy Don't Be A Dick Day!

Today it is Don't Be A Dick Day aka Wil Wheaton's birthday!

So don't be one! The website above includes a really handy flowchart to work out if you're being a dick or not.

And happy birthday to Wil - a geek that, through his blogs, has been something of a source of inspiration for me.