April Fools - the answer!

So, what was the answer to my April Fool post?

As a recap, in my last post I gave nine truths and one lie about me, and invited people to guess which one was untrue.  The ten statements were as follows:

1) I can't swim or ride a bike.
2) Sneezing out of a window seems logical to me.
3) I once eBayed a cherry that had been kicked by Dylan Moran, the Irish comedian.
4) I massaged a Moroccan chap called Abdul.  Multiple times.
5) Stephen Fry once called me "Mark" instead of "Mike".
6) I once planned to travel around the country in a van.
7) I wrote a skit about Tony Blair.
8) I wrote a short story about a fruit machine, and a mans love for it.
9) I once conversed with Robert Llewellyn about the state of Starbug in later series of Red Dwarf.
10) As I write this, an uneaten doughnut is on a plate next to me.

The answer is number nine - although I would very much like to communicate with Robert Llewellyn, being an awesome person, the writer of one of my favourite books (The Man on Platform Five) and obviously the man behind the mask of Kryten, I haven't done so at this point in time.  Everyone seems to have been thrown off by the amazing truth that I managed to not eat a doughnut, until I had finished the post!

In other news, I hate my socks.

Seriously, just look at them.  Scum.

These socks are scratchy, and don't stretch, and are just simply not really nice to wear.  I have a selection of lovely bamboo lined socks, as well as more basic thin cotton ones.

But the trouble with these other socks is that they inevitably are worn, and then separate from one another in the washing basket/washing machine/tumble dryer/sorting of clothes process, so that I only have one of my lovely socks to wear.

And these ones are always there.  So in the end, faced with the choice of once again wearing a non-paired couple of socks, or wearing the horrible pair, I plump for the horrible pair.

Finally, thanks to everyone who has viewed my blog - I've just hit 50,000 views (by Blogger statistics anyway) which is really great.  Thank you!  And do keep an eye on my YouTube channel, I'm working on a new video which is going to be quite decent (hopefully!)

The Unsolvable Problem of a Spider in the Sink

I don't know how to resolve this issue.

Earlier this evening, I took the watering can to the sink to fill it up.  Whilst filling it, a previously undetected spider, measuring at the very least half a centimetre in diameter, hopped off the bottom of the can and ventured into the pile of plates and cutlery in the sink that are to be washed.

I need to do the washing up tonight - well, I should do the washing up tonight - but at any rate I will have to do the washing up at some point.  But obviously I need some kind of spider teleportation device that will lock onto the aforementioned arachnid and beam it to a safe location, a location that is no less than seventy five miles away from me.

But I don't have the technology available, or the cognitive capacity to create something either.

Nevertheless, today has been an improvement on yesterday where I managed to give myself an electric shock and hit myself in the head with a eight foot black metal gate.

The other reason today has been good is that I was involved in TeenTech Humber 2013.  TeenTech is an event aimed at educating teenagers in the career potential within Science, Engineering and Technology.  I was an "Ambassador" (distinct lack of Ferrero Rocher though), and I got a school group to take round a vast variety of exhibits that had been set up for the day - the exhibits comprised of all kinds of activities, the ones we experienced included constructing towers, dyeing different materials, document production, building wind turbines and creating a villain for a computer game (in our case it was a vacuum-wielding hedgehog looking for revenge if I remember correctly!).  An extremely busy day but a really good one and hopefully all the schools got a lot out of the day.

Today I finally reached 10000 views on this blog - thank you!  Last night I checked it and it was at 9997, I must admit I was tempted to fire up whatever electronic devices we had in the house and visit the blog on each one, but I did manage to resist. Thanks all.

Lastly, I'm still looking for yet more questions for my fortune-telling video I'm making next Tuesday, so if you have any burning question about your future that you want me to answer, I do have my fortune cookies to hand, so drop me a comment on my blog, or email me at mike.raven@gmail.com

Staircases are harder than imaginary lightsabers

So the other morning, I decided to cleanse the upstairs of monsters.  I never really decided what sort of monsters they were, they were possibly zombies, the main thing is that they weren't armed with any kind of ranged weaponry, and I don't think they had armour either.

Anyhow, the best kit to deal with imaginary monsters that I could think of was a twinned pair of two imaginary lightsabers.

I managed easily to take down half a dozen of the monsters and was pushing them back with ease, when I went to decapitate one that attempted to flank me.

And instead of eliminating an imaginary monster, I punched the underside of a staircase.

And managed to rip a chunk of skin off.

Ouch!  Next time I'll use a couple of bolt pistols, no need to swing my arms around quite so much.

I forgot on my last post to say that I've got a new video up on YouTube!  It's called Cash For Scratchcards, and you can watch it below or head to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uny-hDSpBuM

As always, if you'd like to see more of my stuff, head over to https://www.youtube.com/ravenswingthog and we can make that happen.

Amazingly, this blog is heading for 10000 views!  As I write this we've just blown through 9000 views, and are continuing to accelerate.  Thanks so much to everyone that reads this, and don't forget to comment on anything you want, the feedback is much appreciated (if you can get the website to let you comment that is!)