The life of a writer carries with it a heady mixture of stress
and guilt. Are you creating right now?
Why not? Why are you wasting time not creating? Will you ever create again?
Will you ever reach that place (fame, money, satisfaction, whatever it is that you want one day to be yours) that you
tell yourself one day you'll get to?
If you are writing, what are you writing? Are you enjoying
it? Are you writing something from your soul, or writing something to keep the
wolves at bay?
If you have written, is it actually any good or are you just
churning out some meaningless drivel that doesn't deserve the time it'll take someone to read it?
Tomorrow. There's
always tomorrow. Tomorrow will be the day that you write it. The piece of work
that will elevate you, set you on your path to greatness. Everyone will say how
you were discovered because of it. You got that writing job because
of it.
You're at one of those terribly middle-class evenings, chatting with your other
writing acquaintances, supping on vintage wine (as though you'd know the difference) and
commenting on the vol-au-vents, blissfully unaware of the other people lurking
around the room that would desperately love to talk to you, just for a moment
of your time, but your reputation precedes you and they can't even begin to
build up the nerve.
Because of it.
So you place all your hopes on tomorrow. But hope is dangerous, because without a
plan, without action, hope is nothing more than a wish. Hope is buying a lottery ticket. Hope is
closing your eyes and running across a busy road as fast as you can.
Meanwhile you're watching repeats of an old TV show you used
to like, telling yourself that it's because you need to watch and read to give
yourself something to write about, but really it's just because the remote
control is at the far end of the sofa.
You tell yourself, you're not going to write today, because
you wrote yesterday, or earlier this week, or you are absolutely definitely
going to write, but not right now, because you need to do that email, or buy
those shoes on Amazon, or just finish just one more level on Candy Crush.
Yet day by day, those tomorrows are running out.
Very well done, Mike. Yes, there are always excuses on why not to write. Tomorrows do slip away. I think it is okay to take a break at least one day to recharge so you don't burn out creatively. If it becomes a habit then that is a different story.
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan :) A bit different to my usual writing but feels good :)
DeleteUntil a couple of months ago I refused to call myself a writer, I was a blogger, with aspirations. I have made the leap. But, I still only do it because I love to put the words on the page.
ReplyDeleteAt a class on writing history last Monday and the pre class conversation turned to being published, and I proudly listed my accomplishments. "Does it pay." was the first question.
"I don't think you can do it for money. If the money comes great, but you have to do it for the love of "art," the love of seeing your name on a piece of writing that brings you pride.
So, Mike you write, every time you have an idea you write, just for the sheer pleasure of writing and being read. I love your stuff, and always have.
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