Online payments

So, I've been ordering some free fabric samples online.  These are for two purposes - firstly, I'd got a vague idea that it might be nice to get a load of samples and stitch them together into something or other. And secondly (and more importantly), my wife gets a lot of parcels all the time and it'd be nice to get a few deliveries for me.

Anyhow, one of the places I went to for samples, NEXT, decided that I had to pay.

That would be, of course, to pay £0.00.  I had the choice of using a credit or debit card, a NEXT gift card, or if I wanted I could take out their NEXT credit card, and get 0% interest for three months on my purchase.

I entered my debit card details, at least the card wasn't declined...

In other news, my wife is training me to help with her burgeoning needle minder hobby, wrapping up parcels being sent all over the world.

Totally natural photo...

The instructions for wrapping the needle minders are very specific, possibly from learning that I have a tendency to deviate from instructions as much as possible - for example, when shopping, my wife might give me a list, with items on such as "ketchup". Now, I know she wants Heinz Tomato Sauce, she doesn't like any other brand, but unless she writes Heinz on the list I'm going to go and buy some other type. So she's learned to give me as little room to maneuver as possible.

But I'm still looking for where I can create havoc.  One thing is that every parcel goes with a little card with a hand written note on it, something along the lines of "Thanks for ordering xxx". I've been advised that I'll need to write some notes myself, for when I package orders up.  I've come up with a few so far:

• Thank you for your order.  This card will self-destruct in five seconds.
• Thank you for your order.  There's a secret message hidden in this box in invisible ink, use a UV darklight to read it.
• Thank you for your order. Help, I'm being held captive in a box making factory.

But suggestions are welcomed!