Inked

Very happy to be writing this post on a bank holiday, as it means that I'm not at work, and as much as I enjoy work I'm really not up to it today - over the past 3 days I've been up and down a hill (a relatively big one), burning myself because I didn't put sun cream on so that I don't dare move my neck in case it rubs against my clothes, been to A&E (not for myself and everyone is fine), lifted heavy things, and been to a tattoo studio.

I'll come to some of the other stuff in future posts because it's probably too much to cover in a single one, but lets talk tattoos.

I've always quite liked the idea of a tattoo but I've not really seen any that I would want to have on my body, and naturally with it being permanent I wanted to wait until I could find (or design) something that I really wanted.

That was until I saw one on this page (third picture, not sure if I can share the image so doing this link) which I did really like, of an arm with hexagons down it.  I think it's the geometric shape, the uniformity of the tattoo, that I like.

I then developed the tattoo with the idea that it'd be cool to put inside the hexagons symbols denoting things that I like or are important to me - one way of thinking of them is that it's a bit like game achievements?  I've basically gamified my arm. Anyway, it means that in the future I can get more of the hexagons filled with other symbols.

So, I went to Namaste Tattoo in Hull a few weeks ago, armed with sketches and images, to talk through what I wanted, and with their advice I altered some of the designs to make them black and to simplify some of them as originally some were really detailed and the risk is that over time the designs wouldn't look as good.

Waiting to be tattooed #SlightlyNervous

Getting tattooed is a really interesting process, if you've never had it done. One thing I had in the back of my head was a question as to how they would manage to get the tattoo even doing it by hand. It turns out that what they do (or at least what my tattoo artist did) is they print out an ink template which is then applied to the skin, so that they have a template to tattoo on.

Ink template applied

Once the ink template was dry it was time to begin the tattoo, and as I sat in my chair, arm resting on a little table adjacent positioned for Holly, the tattoo artist and owner of Namaste, to start, I did wonder at that point how much it was going to hurt.

Well, it's not painless, but it's not bad, it is bit like having repeated pin pricks in short order.  I think that I had maybe picked a good pattern in that it was lots of short bursts to do all of the lines of the hexagons so there was lots of little breaks in between as Holly repositioned herself, and when she was working on the inside of the arm that was certainly more sensitive, but it was alright.  It's surprising how relatively quickly into the tattoo you find yourself playing on my phone with your free hand while your other arm is being impregnated with tattoo pigment inserted directly into the dermis.

Holly in action

And I have to say, it was a fun day.  Holly and the other tattoo artists at Namaste are all really nice and friendly, and I had a great time the 6 or so hours I was there, it was just a really nice chilled day. I did wonder how much of the tattoo would get done on the day, in the end Holly got absolutely loads done which I'm over the moon with.

I'm now in the aftercare phase, which means keeping my tattoo covered up away from the sun and making sure that it's well moisturised, and 2 days on I'm barely getting any pain from the tattoo, just the odd twinge or two in a couple of spots. I'm using antiseptic tea tree cream on it several times a day to moisturise and to make sure that it doesn't get infected.

Plastic wrapped once finished

So in summary I'm really pleased with it and I'm certainly planning to return to get more of the hexagons filled in over time.  I'd love to hear from you in the comments if you've got a tattoo or if you're thinking of getting one, and feel free to ask any questions!

Walking

News - I've been exercising.

I've noted a slow but undeniable increase in my waist size, particularly over the past few months, which I've been thinking about tackling for some time.  My argument to myself for not doing so is that I'm really at my best in a morning for exercising, and I don't have time in a morning. However, it's got to a point where I need to do something - one, because I really don't want to go up yet another clothing size, and two, I'm supposed to be taking part in some walking challenges this summer and I'm concerned that I won't manage it.

I've been discussing with my wife going back to the gym a couple of times a week on an evening, but I'm reluctant to because my past experience of taking out a gym membership consist of signing up, going three or four times, and then paying the membership for a year for no benefit whatsoever.

Then it occurred to me that perhaps the best training for walking would be to... go for a walk.

My trusty hiking boots, that cost all of £15. So far they've worked.

So my plan is, after my son goes to bed, to go for a walk for an hour or so round the streets near me. The trick is making sure that I ensure to do this repeatedly for enough weeks into it becomes a habit and it feels weird not to go for an evening stroll.

Starting off I seem to be able to do about 5 kilometres (a smidge over 3 miles in real money) in an hour, which seems a reasonable starting benchmark.  I've been pleased to discover that my phone (a Huawei P10 Lite) has a Huawei Health app which is actually pretty good at tracking your exercise.

Typical evening view on the mean streets near my house.

It's also giving me a chance to fire up the podcast app on my phone - podcasts are really something that I've not experienced sufficiently in the past, and I'm at a bit unsure what podcasts to try. So far I've sampled Adam Ruins Everything with Adam Conover.  I first saw Adam on the College Humor YouTube channel and really enjoyed his stuff, and I'm pleased to say that his podcast is well worth a listen. The other one I've tried is ID10T with Chris Hardwick and again I've really enjoyed it, although it's very different to the other podcast. If you've got any suggestions for podcasts let me know in the comments.

Make Fake News work for you and get tomorrow off work!

This could be you. Well it can't because it's me, but you know what I mean.

Fake news. All we hear about on the media is people talking about "fake news". This news isn't real, but that news is real. How can we tell?

Truth is in the eye of the beholder these days, it seems.

So why not make it work for you?

Here in the UK (and apparently, according to the internet at least, in Antigua and Barbuda, Australia, Bulgaria, Dominica, Ireland, Kazakhstan, Kygryzstan, Lebanon, Malaysia, Montserrat, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Jersey, Guernsey and Alderney, Isle of Man, Sri Lanka, and South Korea) we're just coming to the end of a public holiday. A delightful three-day weekend, which I've spent packing boxes, going to the park twice, trying to get to the pub and failing because it was too busy, and going to the beach and getting covered in sand.

And getting a haircut.

But the weekend is at its end, a return to work for millions of us across the globe is imminent.

Or is it?

If enough of us make the assertion in a co-ordinated manner that tomorrow is actually Monday, and we commit by putting on our social media channels tomorrow morning messages about how it is Monday and a public holiday, I submit that there is every chance that our managers will come to think that it is Monday also, and fail to go in to work themselves, and by the time all of the confusion has been sorted out we've all managed to swing an impressive fourth day to the three day weekend.

A number of phrases are listed below for use on social media, feel free to use or amend as you see fit.

Ah, I love a Monday on a public holiday! Going to sort out the garage today #determined

Really glad no one's at work today, I need a lie in!

It's Bank Holiday Monday, going to get up early and take the kids to the beach before it gets too busy!

It's Monday, it's a holiday, and I'm going to play World of Warcraft ALL DAY!!!!

Does anyone know if Domino's deliver on public holidays? I really don't want to cook today!

Extra marks go to people who tag their bosses in a status, asking them if they fancy going for a beer with it being Monday. A risky strategy, but one that could potentially pay off.

So, share this post, spread the word, and get ready to enjoy a super-extended weekend!

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Don't not go into work, this idea isn't going to work and you'll get in trouble. Plus you have to weigh up, do you really want to not go to a job that you probably actually like, and spend yet another day with your family???

Avengers: Infinity War and the Tactics They Didn't Try WARNING MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!

WARNING THIS POST MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS ABOUT AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ SPOILERS THEN DON'T READ THIS POST, READ THIS ONE ABOUT CATS INSTEAD

Image by Cicero R.V. from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Infinity_war.png on a CC-BY SA 4.0 license

So, last night we went to see Avengers: Infinity War.

In summary - Wow.

The evening started off good with some free ice cream (thanks Ben & Jerry!) and got better.

mmm free is good :)

Despite the warnings, I'm not going to give you a huge amount of detail on the plot, if you want to find out the plot without watching the film there's plenty of websites that will tell you that. In brief, a guy called Thanos aims to recover the six Infinity Stones, which if he succeeds in doing so will result in him being able to carry out his ultimate goal - genocide.

Now, the film is absolutely brilliant, especially for someone who has watched many (although admittedly not all) of the Marvel films beforehand, and it's great to see all of the many threads of the various films coming together.

Thanos image adapted from https://www.flickr.com/photos/27745117@N00/40051431344 by Hannaford on a CC-BY SA 2.0 license

There are a couple of comments I have to make about the film, however.

Now, you'll note from the image above, Thanos holds the coloured Infinity Stones in the Infinity Gauntlet, a specially made gauntlet capable of containing the power of the stones.

There appears to be a couple of tactics that no one thought of trying. Of course, I fully expect to be shot down by fans - and do not, by any stretch of the imagination, think that my following comments mean that I didn't like the film, or I don't want to see what happens next. It's made clear in the film that Doctor Strange looked at millions of different futures, and found only one that resulted in victory, so you must assume that he took the route that would hopefully lead to that one successful future.


But I have to say.

Cut the arm off.

Sorry, that didn't come out right. What I mean was:

CUT THE ARM OFF

Or, even...

CUT THE FUCKING ARM OFF

Doctor Strange's teleporty hole ability seems ideal for chopping Thanos's arm off and sticking it on a different planet somewhere. Cut the arm off, then he can't work the gauntlet. Stick it on Thor or someone and let him pwn Thanos with his own glove.

Tactic two, which again you assume Doctor Strange must have seen and discounted was to simply use the Time Stone (which he was keeping) to go back in time, and then do whatever in order to stop Thanos - like CHOPPING HIS ARM OFF.

Of course, either of these would have made for a very short movie. If you could go back in time, in theory you could resolve any kind of issue before it starts.

Preferably by cutting arms off.

Anyway - now I've enraged the millions of Marvel fans across the globe - I have to say, once again, it's an absolutely awesome film. Go see it :)

Ice Cream Vans

Here's a picture of an ice cream van.

I've downloaded this picture from pixabay.com. It isn't a photo I've taken.

Why isn't it a photo that I've taken.

BECAUSE THE ICE CREAM VAN NEVER DRIVES DOWN OUR STREET.

I was outside this afternoon, cutting the grass, when I heard the music of an ice cream van nearby, down the next street to ours.

Now, it was a hot day, and I particularly fancied an ice cream for some reason. I hoped against hope that just for one, the van might swing by our street to see if someone wanted any ice cream.

Of course, it didn't.  Our street is relatively short compared to the adjacent street, and the van never drives down it.

No ice cream :(

Anyway, I made a video about wildlife, namely cheese toasties. Do go check it out :)

Dublin!

To take my mind off the current threat of world destruction, I decided to report on mine and my dad's recent trip to Dublin!

The flight to Dublin from Leeds Bradford went very smoothly, I have to in particular recommend the Viking car park system - you park your car a couple of minutes away from the airport, they take your key, and give you a lift in a mini bus to the airport, and then on return they monitor the flights so that as you leave the airport the mini bus pulls up again to take you back to your car, and this happened flawlessly.

Once in Dublin we headed for one of the oldest drinking establishments in Dublin, Mulligans.

It may not be obvious from the photo, but of the 25 or so beer pumps behind the bar, no less than 4 of them were devoted to Guinness, and as we walked in the barman was pouring pint after pint of the black stuff.  We wasting no time in ordering two pints for ourselves and finding a seat.

Then, I remembered one of the other excellent drinks available in Dublin (any many other places I'm sure) are hot whiskeys - whiskey, hot water, a slice of lemon with cloves placed carefully within, and an optional spoon of sugar.

Hot whiskeys are quite small though, and we found that it was more sensible to order a hot whiskey with a pint of Guinness, so that we didn't have to go to the bar quite so often.

For some reason after a few hours in Mulligan's we went to the hotel and slept for 16 hours or so.

The following morning we happened upon a cafe called Metro that did a decent breakfast, that somehow managed to make us feel halfway human again!

So the second day was spent at a more relaxed speed, visiting the Guinness Storehouse but apart from that catching up on the Commonwealth Games.

I did experience one of my pet hates that evening when, going out for some dinner, I ordered a pie.

For the avoidance of doubt - the photo above does not depict a pie.

A pie should be fully encased in pastry (ideally shortcrust).

What this meal consisted of was a bowl of stew, with a hat on.

The last day we went to several museums - the "National" museums of archaeology, natural history, The National Gallery of Ireland, and Book of Kells are all sited quite close to one another.  I have to say that the free options (aka not the Book of Kells) are definitely the better ones to experience.

Massive skeletons of gigantic deer in the natural history museum

Of course, no trip would be complete without one awkward experience, and that would be the flight back to the UK. When it was time to get to the plane, we obediently boarded two buses that would take us there, which then sat and didn't move for a while.

Then they drove us to the plane, but didn't open the doors, they just showed us the plane for a while. Eventually they told us that we couldn't board, because the crew for the plane hadn't shown up yet. If only we'd had some kind of paperwork, or card, that told us which seat we were supposed to sit in! Maybe you could call it...a boarding pass?

Eventually the crew arrived - it turned out that the normal crew wasn't available so it was a standby crew that had been brought into action - and we took off.  Very soon after lift off they advised us that conditions at Leeds Bradford Airport were extremely bad, and that there was a good chance that we'd end up at Manchester Airport instead - not ideal, when my car was at Leeds Bradford.

Despite this, they did manage to land at Leeds Bradford even though as far as I could see the fog was such that there was no sign of any lights, runway, or even where the ground was for that matter. The landing was a little rougher than the one at Dublin (which was in the middle of the day in good weather) but we were just happy to be down, in one piece, and even better, where we were supposed to be.

All in all I certainly had a great time, and I'm renewed in my desire to work out just how to make a hot whiskey!

Dublin

This time in 7 days I shall be arriving in the city of Dublin with my dad for 2 nights of fun and enjoyment with my dad.  I haven't been to Dublin for about 12 years, when I may have undergone various Chinese health treatments whilst inebriated, but I do have very happy (albeit fuzzy) of the place.

Click on the photo, but the Conference Centre Dublin has on their website a "list of upcoming events that we are permitted to publish"... I suddenly want nothing more find out what the events are between these ones, even though it's probably just a convention for dental hygiene products or something.

I've booked the Guinness Storehouse tour (last time I went there was a HUGE queue of people that hadn't booked, while I was able to go to the pre-booked stand and go straight in, so hoping this is still the case!) and also a musical pub crawl, where you go round 3 pubs and learn about the history of Irish music - whilst enjoying a pint or two, of course!

I've nearly sorted everything, although I do need to measure my backpacks to ensure that they comply with the maximum flight sizes - maximum bag size is 48cm high, 33cm wide, and 20cm deep, I'm totally unable to imagine what that equates to, but every time I think "oh yeah, I must measure the backpacks" I'm busy doing something at the computer, and the backpacks and the measuring tape are never in the same place as me thinking "must measure the backpacks"!

We're currently 3 days into the 4 day UK Easter weekend break, with today, Easter Sunday, being the big one where almost everywhere is closed - even the supermarkets don't dare open on Easter Sunday - so I'm currently demolishing an easter egg ahead of going to the cinema (which is open despite being Easter Sunday) to watch some Peter Rabbit.

So I hope you're having a good weekend wherever you are, happy Easter!

A Space Story - Part 3

I hope that you've been enjoying the start to our sci-fi epic being produced between Tim Clark and I, it's time for the next piece! If you want to catch up on the previous parts:

Part One - http://www.mikeraven.co.uk/2018/03/now-live-journey-part-one.html
Part Two - http://tim-thingsastheyare.blogspot.co.uk/2018/03/a-space-story-part-ii.html

“There’s definitely something down there,” Lieutenant Send commented, his eyes fixed on his sensor displays as they had been for the past five minutes as the Tillerson cruised towards the large asteroid.
“Hang on,” he added.
“What is it?” Captain Danger asked. For all that this was an exceedingly dull mission, he could help but get just a little excited.
“A comet with a very high metallic content just passed the asteroid. Irregular orbit.”
“Do comets usually have very high metallic content?” Danger asked the science officer sat behind him.
“Occasionally,” Officer Landale said with a shrug, “we’ve had various reports of these in the past.”
“Hmm.” Danger commented, tapping his fingers on his armrest. He needed a snack.
“Distance to asteroid?” First Officer Konetkov asked.
“Just over twelve thousand kilometres,” the helmsman replied.
“Can we get a visual on the probe? On the viewscreen?” the captain asked.
“I’m pinpointing the location and transferring to the main screen, sir.” Send answered.

The screen, which had been showing a view of most of the asteroid, flickered and changed to show a particular bit of the asteroid. There was something there, sat on the surface, that definitely did not look like it belonged on a asteroid.
“Can we compare that object to our database?” Danger asked. He was aware that he was asking a lot of questions today. It was almost as though he was out of his depth.
“It’s far too big to be a probe, captain.” Landale said with the know-it-all demeanour of an Ohio State graduate.
“So what is it?” Konetkov said, rising to her feet so she could stand closer to the screen. Everyone knew that she could do with glasses, or laser eye correction, but no one dared tell her.

The words tumbled from Danger’s lips.
“It’s a ship,” he uttered, the expression on his face making it look as though he was surprised at what he was saying.
“It doesn’t look like any Earth Spacefleet ship, captain.” Lieutenant Send, objecting. Danger frowned at him - he could be annoying sometimes. Plus he was taller than him.
“It’s not Earth Spacefleet,” the captain said. He turned to the engineering officer at the back of the bridge, who was trying to look busy.
“Please confirm that all sensors are recording, and that internal ship cameras are recording. Earth Spacefleet Procedure Three Two Two is in effect.” he said, swiftly running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to comb the thick graying locks into place. He suddenly wished that he had had a shower that day.
 Konetkov turned to him and held up a finger in query. “Sir, Procedure Three Two Two is the process of recycling human waste tanks for water generation. Are you sure that’s the one that you want?”
Danger growled, and prodded his control panel to bring up a list of Earth Spacefleet procedures. “Two Three Three!” he barked.
Everyone on the bridge suddenly became very professional, and very sharp.

It was down to Captain Anthony Danger of the Tillerson to speak the next, potentially historic words. He took a last drink of his cold coffee to clear his throat.
 “C&C,”, he said, “Activate external communications, and commence broad spectrum extra-terrestrial greetings. Let’s say hello.”

Now live - The Journey: Part One!

It's time!

After all the buzz and excitement from last weeks post, it's time to let people out of their misery.

I and my fellow blogger, Tim Clark of the excellent Life, Explained, are going to write a science fiction serial, told from different points of view.  Read below the first part of our sci-fi epic, and stay tuned to Tim's blog for part 2!

----------

Captain Anthony Danger of the Venture-class Earth Spaceship Tillerson, sipped his hot coffee. It had been a long, dull mission for the 80-strong team manning the long range vessel, sent on a low priority mission to explore a series of star systems. There had been little demand from Earth Spacefleet to send a ship at all, but a politician back home had been elected in the Mars 2120 elections on his promise to “Further the Exploration of The Cosmos!”, vowing to identify new mining sources and expand the scientific discovery programme.

 Once the politician had been elected, and discovered just how expensive deep space exploration was, he plumped for building the smallest scout ship he could and sending a somewhat mediocre crew of career spacers out in it, to go look at a group of star systems that, the scientists advised, could be relied upon to “not find anything too interesting that might result in a demand for prohibitively expensive research”.

 So far, they had spent a little over seven months investigating four stars, two uninhabitable planets, seventy two asteroids, and six comets, the last of which they had managed to drill and obtain a large sample of ice.  The ice was asserted as being essential for scientific research, although it was worth noting that, apart from giving the science team something to look at, the ships galley was suddenly offering Long Island Iced Teas again.

 In the bijou square command bridge of the Tillerson, Captain Danger enjoyed a slightly nicer seat than the others, and was positioned in the centre of the room where he could easily turn to address any of the control stations. His second-in-command, Commander Anna Konetkov, had a seat alongside him. Each of them had a control display to the side. In front of them were a bank of three desks, for Helm, Sensors, and Communications/Combat (generally referred to as C&C). Behind them were ancillary stations for other ships functions such as Engineering control, Science, and Research. All stations ultimately faced a large display screen, which was currently showing an asteroid, an irregular two hundred kilometre rock slowly rotating in the darkness, a hundred thousand miles away.

 “Sendie, what’s in that rock?” Captain Danger asked.
 Sensor Operator Lieutenant James Send checked the sensor returns, before half-turning in his seat to address the captain.
 “Asteroid Gamma 6/14 shows reasonably high metallic concentrations of Nickel and Iron, but I can’t give more detail until we get closer.”
 “That’s fine,” Danger said with a shrug, “we’ll get there. No rush.”
 The crew sat in silence, some monitoring their various control panels, while others like C&C (which had spent at least 30 weeks of the 31 week journey bored to tears reading ships communications which covered important issues such as the monthly darts tournament) generally mucked about on games and simulators to pass the time.

 Eventually the dagger-shaped E.S. Tillerson got somewhat closer to the asteroid. Sensor data began to improve in quality. Lieutenant Send reported.
 “I’m detecting high amounts of Nickel and Iron, sir, Lower amounts of silicon, oxygen, gold, palladium... this is a good asteroid, Captain. It’s worth putting on the mining list.”
 “It would even have potential as a future base,” Commander Konetkov ruminated. Danger nodded.
 “Hang on,” Send said, peering at his display and poking controls.
 “What is it?” Konetkov asked, a moment before Danger could speak.
 “I’m detecting traces of a radioactive element... Curium.”
 “Curium?” Danger queried.
 “Yes, sir, Curium.”
 “We’ve never encountered Curium naturally in space before.” Danger said, frowning.
 Konetkov rose and turned to address a woman at the Research station at the back of the command bridge.
 “Have we had any space probes out here?”
 The woman checked the computer. “There have been a number of AI probes that have flown through this system, although I don’t have records of their exact flight plans.”
 Konetkov nodded and sat down again. “That’s it, Captain. It’ll be a probe that’s malfunctioned and probably crashed onto the asteroid.”
 Danger nodded. “A probe... we might be able to recover it and get some data from it. This might be interesting.”
 He raised his voice. “Helm - take us in closer.”