Suspicions (warning - contains swearing...)

Today's blog is focussed upon the bathroom.

First, I discovered when fumbling for the wrong bottle that the Harpic bleach has been located immediately next to the mouthwash - which I generally use at the start and end of each day, and, it is important to note, when I'm not wearing my glasses.

I'm sure it's a coincidence how this happened about a week after I received my pension forecast, which included details of how much money my wife would receive if I died in service...

Secondly, I do like to offer something educational now and again.  I would like to offer forth the following new word, complete with definition:

Fuckin'Towel /ˈfʌkɪŋtaʊəl/
NOUN

1     A thick, soft and absorbent textile used for drying oneself which is not in the vicinity of the shower. The potential user only becomes aware of this when already in the shower.

Examples of usage: "I've got soap in my eyes! Where's the Fuckin'Towel?", or "I forgot to check before I got in the bloody shower... there's no Fuckin'Towel!"

It's almost as though these posts are inspired by real life

(As an aside, why do we still say "I've got soap in my eyes" - does anyone still use soap in a shower/bath context? Shower gel is by far the most prominent body cleanser in our house, soap has been restricted to hands only)

Silence...

...for far too long.

Almost 2 weeks since I blogged!  The simple reason for this hideously long absence is that for at least half that time we haven't had a computer up and running.

We've been very home-improvement focused this last couple of weeks, my wife took on the challenge of redecorating our sons bedroom ahead of getting a new carpet installed in the room, meanwhile our living room ceiling, which had been looking a bit dodgy, finally got some TLC.

Doesn't look too bad, does it?

Yeah... how about now

Some time ago we had a leak from our bathroom which loosened the plaster in the ceiling, and we knew it needed looking at, it turns out that basically the plaster was being held together by a bit of paper, and when we got a plasterer to start taking it down, it came down in one massive go!  Despite this, the ceiling has been replastered and we're now getting round to repainting the living room, a task which hadn't been planned.              

A side effect of all this is that when I haven't been too busy to blog because of moving things in and out of my sons bedroom, we've not been able to use our computers because they've been unplugged and in my sons playroom instead of the living room where they rightfully belong.  But at last, one of the computers has been temporarily set up so I'm taking advantage of it being Fathers Day to have justification to blog a bit rather than tackle any of the many chores I ought to be doing right now!

The other week it was our wedding anniversary, being our second one and the traditional gift being cotton my wife creatively camp up with the below sock bouquet gift for me!

 
I managed to forget that I bought her a present, so panicked the day before and bought her another gift! Such is life.

It's an absolutely glorious Sunday here, hot and sunny, which means I'm going to sit still and complain about the weather all day, being terribly English.  I hope wherever you are you're having a good weekend, and hopefully it'll not be quite so many weeks until the next blog!

Guest post - Terrors Lurking in the Bathroom

Today my dad blogs on my behalf about the dangers of the smallest room.

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Picture courtesy of Unsplash

TERRORS LURKING IN THE BATHROOM!

Startled? I should say so! 'SHAKEN' would not be putting it too strongly either. Well, you don't expect that kind of thing early morning in your own bathroom.

I had exercised after breakfast, which is normal for me and quite un- extraordinary in any way, raised a mild sweat etc. I was pleased to have managed one whole Pull up from a dead hang position, although two Pull ups were quite beyond my current ability. Pitifully weak I agree, but a problem with the right shoulder has put me back as it were.

I have great ambitions to improve considerably!

Thereafter with blood pulsing in my veins I retired to the bathroom, washed, made a mental note to clean my teeth, brush my hair, find a clean t-shirt and.......... WHAT! ?

There on the window sill a can of deodorant stood quietly screaming in the sunlight -

IF INHALED - THIS PRODUCT CAN KILL!

Instinctively I held my breath, had I inhaled any of it?

Well no, not today, I hadn't actually used it today, but yesterday?

Maybe this was a dream and I had actually died horribly yesterday but it had slipped my mind? (a possible side effect of terminal deodorant death!)

I pinched myself. OUCH! No, that felt alive enough.

Scared now, I wondered furiously, do I dare to use the deodorant for fear of terminal lethality? Who would walk the dogs? I need to prep food for the evening meal. I haven't written my exercise diary entry for today!

I took a grip of myself, think man dammit, presumably as long as you take a deep breath, dash into the bathroom, spray, dash outside to the relative safety of the garden to gulp down clean air - whilst leaving the bathroom door and window open to vent poisonous gasses ... all should be well after say, half an hour!

Early morning exercise is fraught with dangers it seems.

Discover my parents website, www.facebook.com/RavenMagical - they offer all kinds of new age and magical goodies.